I’m Sikh, and I cut my hair. And if I got a dollar for every time I’ve been told that I’m not a Sikh because I cut my hair- I could probably buy a Ferrari (or pay for Med school, priorities…).
I’ve spoken about religion before (You can read it here!), and I’ll say it again, I’m not an expert on any religion, including my own. I’m also aware that religion can be interpreted by each person a different way. But at the end of the day there are core principals to each religion that cannot be forgotten, and if your interpretation of the religion starts to wander away from those principals, I believe you can be told that you are wrong. I’ve been wanting to write/speak about this topic for a few years now, because I feel as though my religion as a whole is wandering off the path our founders had made for us, and in light of recent interactions with Sikhs in the community, I finally decided to speak my mind in hopes my thoughts will spark thoughts in others. At the Gurudawara (place of worship) I attend back home, an elder member made a statement that the youth are walking away from our faith- in a way she was right, but, aunty ji, let me tell you what’s really going on…
Sikhism, essentially (or so I have been taught at the Gurudawara), came about because our first Guru, Guru Nanak Dev Ji, born a Hindu, came to the conclusion that many rituals had come in the way of religion and were blinding the core values his religion embodied. He went on pilgrimages with both Hindus and Muslims, and asked them why certain rituals were performed, and then politely argued why the ritual was nonsense using the beliefs each religion encompassed. He then proceeded to branch off both religions and start a new one, Sikhism (literal meaning of Sikh= Student). Sikhs are known to be warriors, but they should also be known as students in the classroom of life. Each Guru after Guru Nanak Dev Ji helped build the religion through life events, taking in wisdom from their fellow Hindu and Muslim colleagues. And at the end of the 10 Guru era, we, the Sikhs of today, are left with a book, our 11th and eternal Guru, the Guru Granth Sahib, which brings to together thoughtful pieces of knowledge from Sikhs, Muslims, and Hindus.
Now after that VERY brief history lesson, lets get back to the topic of hair and why the youth seem to be “walking away”. In Sikhism we have the 5 Ks, which are supposed to be our uniform. Kesh (uncut hair), Karra (Steel bracelet), Kanga (a wooden comb), Kacha (cotton underwear), and Kirpan (a steel sword) are the 5 Ks, and I fully understand the significance behind each (go read up on it, too much to explain) and how they came about, and the sacrifices made to keep this uniform intact back in the day. At first, one of the reasons the uniform came about was so you could tell who was a Sikh from a Hindu and a Muslim. And it stuck due to many things that happened during the era of the lives of 10 different Gurus (so basically a lot happened) (Ugh, sorry for continuing the history lesson). Now lets fast forward to the 21st century in America, where if a person were caught with a steel sword dangling at their waist, they would be considered a threat. So many of the Sikhs out there who keep their hair uncut and/or wear a turban, don’t carry that sword. Many girls who keep their hair uncut but don’t wear the turban do not hide the little wooden comb in their hair (many turban wearing men don’t either). Many Sikh physicians with uncut hair don’t wear the steel bracelet all the time because it is not sanitary. Do you see where I’m getting at here? Not every Sikh with uncut hair abides by all 5 Ks. I can see how it is easier to keep your hair than carry a sword, but at the end of the day, how you look DOES NOT DETERMINE YOUR FAITH- or your dedication towards your religion either (This is in fact a teaching from Guru Nanak Dev Ji himself), because religion is not a physical tangible thing, it’s a theory that lives in your mind not on your body. I cut my hair because it’s hard to maintain, I wasn’t blessed with silky beautiful hair, and I live in a world and am in a profession where my appearance matters. I know that being Sikh is not at all about what’s on the outside, but what’s on the inside. (And having more time not doing my hair, gives me more time to serve the community- a Sikh core value) I do wear a karra, which for me is the most practical way in today’s society to still wear the uniform of a Sikh, kind of like how a Christian may wear a Cross around their neck, but if I see a Sikh not wearing one, the thought that they aren’t a Sikh has never crossed my mind. Uncut hair to me is now synonymous to a ritual that is blinding our religion from it’s core values (hmm remind you of something?).
Each Religion, along with Sikhism, have rules along side their beliefs. These rules are there for the beneficence of the followers. For example, something many people don’t know due to the punjabi stereotype, Sikhs are also supposed to refrain from alcohol and meat, why? Because of health reasons, it’s not good for your body. Which makes this rule understandable, but if someone does consume either or both, that still doesn’t mean they don’t embody the values of Sikhism. And nothing enrages me more than when I hear a turban wearing uncle I saw hitting up the bar at a wedding the past weekend, tell me at the Gurudawara I’m not Sikh because of my hair, and his obviously hung over son is. Like really, you can break a rule but I can’t? To put it in a little perspective for other religions- being told your cut hair makes you not a Sikh is like telling a Muslim girl she’s not Muslim because she doesn’t wear a hijab, or a Christian isn’t Christian because they don’t go to church every Sunday. We have other rules that are kind of like rituals as well, but are meant to show respect which is completely understandable- for example in the Sikh prayer hall you must cover your head, and your back should never face the front of the hall where the Guru Granth Sahib is. But even these well accepted rules have been taken way out of context and is part of the reason, in my opinion, Sikhism is falling apart in our society today.
Now that I’ve covered my beef with the hair situation, let’s move on to why the youth is walking away. I’ll start with the story that made me finally write this post- a few weeks ago my uncle passed away, and our family arranged a funeral and prayer processional in a matter of days. It’s customary in pretty much all cultures and religions to keep a picture of the deceased at the front of the ceremonies so you can remember them. My uncle cut his hair, and the picture his children chose to remember him with obviously did not have him wearing a turban. When they showed up to place the picture in the Gurudawara on day one of a three day prayer ceremony (Akhand Path) they were turned away because the PICTURE did not have their father’s head covered, and they had a problem all of the sudden with putting the picture in the front of the room because technically his back would be to Guru Granth Sahib- like come on its a picture for crying out loud! And it’s to honor someone who passed away, why are we getting into the nitty gritty of the rituals and being blinded from how our religion honors those who have left us? After a little bit of arguing our family was allowed to place a picture we found with him wearing a turban at the front of the prayer hall. Please tell me at this point you all are catching my drift and can see how ridiculous that was, and many other actions that elders in our community have taken that are not at all what Sikhism truly represents. Sikhism’s CORE VALUES are- be a good person, be hard working, share your wealth with your community, everyone is equal, be an honest and respectful person, avoid ego, avoid greed, avoid lust and anger, and bring peace- “Kirat Karni, Naam Japo, and Wand Kay Shako.” One of my favorite stories in Sikhism is where a Guru was asked to lunch by a poor man and a rich man – the poor man made it with his own hands and the rich man was greedy, and exploited labor to serve the Guru lunch. When the Guru squeezed the poor man’s roti (bread) milk came out, and when he squeezed the rich man’s roti blood came out. Moral of the story- be an honest and good person. It’s truly a very simple religion. We are supposed to be known as the most inviting religion, where we don’t force you to convert but we welcome you into our home to share our wisdom, in hopes you will share yours. In fact the Golden temple has four doors to enter, because Guru Arjun was aware that the other religions of the world use a specific direction for the layout of their houses of worship, so he had a door placed so that anyone could enter the Temple from the direction his religion dictated. Yet- recently some Sikh council in the UK decided that Sikhs can no longer marry non- Sikhs in a Gurudawara. Once again rituals blinding the religion itself. And this is why we are walking away. I’m still a Sikh, and I love my religion, but I only go to the Gurudawara every once in awhile to listen to Kirtan and meditate to clear my mind so I can get back to studying. I don’t listen to what the elders have to say anymore, because I feel like they are destroying the beautiful religion Sikhism is (and the politics at some of these Gurudawaras are almost as ridiculous as the GOP debates this year). Sikhs are the first to call out other religions for being too radical, but they forget to see what they are doing to their own faith.
Aamir Khan created an entire movie, PK, on how rituals are destroying and blinding religions. A movie everyone in this world should watch.
Guru Nanak Dev Ji created an entire religion, because he felt rituals were destroying and blinding other faiths. It’s sad to see that his followers are undoing all of his hard work. In a time where Sikh hate crimes are at a high, we should be progressing and informing others about the beauty of our religion, not regressing and losing followers.
That was my rant- now you’re probably asking, cool Jyoti, what’re going to do about it? Well I’m going to share this in hopes this makes some people realize what’s going on or realize they aren’t the only one with this thought. And then I’m going to keep Sikhism alive with my own kids- the right way. I don’t know if I will marry another Sikh, but I do know I’ll teach my kids to be a good person like Sikhism embodies, because faith isn’t just something you pray towards, its how you act on a day to day basis.
Let the hater’s hate on this, Chak De Phattey!
-J
Chak De Phattey! 
This one of the best discription of Sikhism in modern times. So true we have forgotten the right path our Gurus have shown us and have been more driven by an internal identity crises. Yes I do cut my hair and shave however when I go home I sometime wear turban – not for the sake of religion but because I live nostalgia of my college days. Thanks for differentiating our beautiful religion from our appearance. Good luck.
Thanks Bhaiya! I’m glad others share the same views!
Hi Jyoti –
I am glad to see that you are at least thinking about Sikhi. That is more than can be said for most of us.
Sikhi is a life-long process, an apprenticeship, if you will, to the Guru. A Sikh, as the word implies, means being a life long learner – and learning involves questioning, listening, absorption and dialogue.
You are to be commended for raising questions and engaging others in a dialogue. That is being a Sikh.
The way I see it, being a Sikh is much like being a citizen. Each one of us chooses our own level of civic engagement and commitment. That does not make us more or less of a citizen.
Likewise with Sikhi. It is a choice, not a prescription.
Stay engaged.
Ravinder Uncle
I totally agree with you Uncle! Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Well said Jyoti, Ravinder encompasses most of what needs to be said, about the Sikhi way. The problem with the old fogies (like the one making observations on your Sikhi) is that they themselves are not well versed in the teachings of the Bani. the Bhais (who have replaced the “Brahmins”) only recite what the fogies want to hear and hence the discriminatory mindset is established. By the way most of the Bhais sitting in Gurdwaras learned to read the Bani, for financial gain, not critical thought and dissemination of the Guru’s message.
Its a pity they don’t see, that the youth have no enthusiasm towards Sikhi. Hopefully it will be the young thinkers like you and other likeminded youngsters, who will carry Sikhi to new heights, once we engage with the Bani and share our collective knowledge.
This is really an intriguing article by Jyoti, raising a fundamental question about the Religion. I totally agree with whatever she wrote and would like to add my viewpoints on the topic. We, the common people often fail to understand the difference between the religion and customs. Religion is a very personal thing and comes from within the soul. The customs, on the other hand are the habitual practices at a given time and are subject to change as the society and the environment changes. However, our so called priests often synonymize these customs with religion and tend to resist any changes in them. I really commend the efforts by our dear friend’s daughter to explain her viewpoint in very tangible and logical way.
Jyoti I am impressed with your insight on the Sikh religion.It seems like you know more about what Sikhism embodies than a lot of older folks I know.Proud of you girl! Your article is intriguing and gets everyone thinking deeper into what we are teaching our kids.
You have simplified the real meaning of being a sikh.
very well written Jyoti you put my thoughts to words. Being a good human noble and down to earth is the prime religion of humanity itself, its sad to see that adults today dont feel the same, but at the same time I see the future generation actually understanding and comprehending religion and religious teachings better.
Firstly, I would like to say is that your entitled to your own opinion, but I have to reply to some of the points you have made in your article. Sikh youth are walking off the path because they choose not to listen to the Guru’s teachings and most of all many are uneducated (due to corrupt gurdwaras committees not caring and parents) and it is evident when Sikh youth make their own westernized version of Sikhi just like you did in this article piece.
You mention how in 21st century America a kirpan could be considered dangerous when in fact there are citizens who carry guns in public where ever they can because of 2nd amendment? For Amritdharis, it is mandatory to have all the 5K’s on the body at all times. Those who aren’t initiated in the Khalsa Panth aren’t required to have panj kakkars with them but still should take steps towards becoming an Amritdhari. This lack of rehat (code of conduct) has creeped into our Sikh community for some time because lack of understanding of how important the 5 K’s are to us baptized Sikhs. It is no surprise that we see Sikh physicians taking their kara off or kirpan for personal reasons. The panj kakkars are part of the uniform not just for this world but onto the next as ordained by Akaal Purakh himself.
Looks do not determine fully your faith. But I have to say that for us Sikhs it is a HUGE factor in our spiritual connection with the Gurus. Guru Nanak Dev Ji gave hukam to Bhai Mardana ji to keep his kesh. Kesh is an essential part of the Sikh faith and isn’t a blind ritual???? Not just for Sikhs is kesh essential but for the whole human race. Kesh is a unique part of Akaal Purakh’s roop that he has given us from birth. We choose to cut it off our hair because of societal standards and sad excuses like saying “its hard to maintain” and our haumai gets in the way. As a head is essential for your shoulders hair is essential for spiritual connection while meditating upon God’s name. If you study the time period of Mahabharata, Hindu sects of all kept their hair and beard as God’s ordained gift to them and many spiritually connected to God. Rishis,prophets, Avatars all kept kesh too. Also in that same time period, hair removal was considered a worse punishment than death. Then, as time went on the custom tradition of shaving/haircuts started out of nowhere in India but our Gurus came and specifically taught the essence and importance of kesh for the Sikhs.
“Sikhs are the first to call out other religions for being too radical, but they forget to see what they are doing to their own faith.”
Please inform me how Sikhs are destroying their faith and being “too radical” when Sikhs take a stance against interfaith weddings? Seriously, have you come across one source in our history where our Gurus have allowed an interfaith marriage to happen during their times. Typical westernized Sikhs using the excuse, God is one, gurdwara has four doors etc… When you guys have no education in Gurmat philosophy or history and make the most absurd excuses its quite sad. Maharaj Ranjit Singh married a Muslim woman and the Akal Takht Jathedar at that time excommunicated him from the Panth as he broke the law. Then Maharaj Ranjit Singh apologized in front of whole sangat and was accepted back. Most Sikhs are against interfaith couples using the GGS for their wedding ceremony just for bants. Most of us aren’t saying don’t get married just don’t use GGS or come to gurdwara and use Maharaj ji for bants, its a mereless ritual in itself if they understood the meaning of the four lavans read during the anand karaj it clearly states the binding of two souls for Guru ji and denounces all other ways.
Sikhism is not regressing moreover its Sikhs themselves choosing to distance themselves from the Guru’s teachings. Yes, corrupt gurdwara management and lack of education play a big factor in our current situation. In reality Sikhs are all about quality over quantity and remain in Chardi Kala through tough times.
Obviously at this point, I wasn’t surprised one bit you mentioned you don’y know if you will marry another Sikh but just a reminder if you don’t, out of respect don’t do anand karaj ceremony using GGS please and thank you.
I’m glad you highlighted everything I said that you felt was wrong, but there are many other points in the article you looked past (such as the picture situation.) There’s a double standard in the Sikh society and that’s a problem. (Another huge point. ) And there is a lot more to Sikhi than hair, and a lot of Sikhs who act all high and mighty because they keep their hair but don’t follow the rest of the Gurus teachings. I do know the interpretation of the lavans. And I don’t see a single problem with having someone marry someone of another faith using them. Rules and legislation change throughout the years because people realize history wasn’t completely correct when taking such actions. Guru Nanak Dev ji gave hukam for a lot of things- but many non-westernized Sikhs like to only focus on a few and tell the rest of us we are uneducated.
I didn’t touch base on the picture situation and the hypocritical uncle because in those two situations I can agree with you that there is a problem of double standard. Mainly what I replied was to some of the points that I came into disagreement with. With the picture situation, you know this too, some gurdwara granthis/ragis are backwards in their thinking in some aspects of Sikhi in which you’ve covered. With the uncle situation, it’s pretty evident most Sikhs who keep hair think they get a pass with drinking alcohol which is totally not the case. Yes, Sikhi is not all about keeping the physical roop and some indulge in activities they aren’t supposed to while keeping kesh. But that shouldn’t stop one from progressing on their spiritual path by looking at our own followers and thinking what’s the point. These hypocritical Sikhs are everywhere even at my gurdwara, but at the same time there are Sikhs out there who truly follow the Gurus teaching respectfully.
On the interfaith marriage part, hopefully you do know the right interpretation of the lavan because if you did then you’d know it’d be wrong according to Gurmat. Now where the problem lies is when different people have different interpretations of Gurbani. Sometimes we have to dig deeper by listening to a katha and historicial reference related to Gurbani that helps us a better understanding of what Guru ji says. Gursikhs from UK have made english katha vide on laavan thats on Youtube (BasicsofSikhi channel) after the whole ruckus about it to clarify Gurbani’s stance on interfaith marriages. That is where i found what lavaan is all about and not just the surface of it. Merely just reading English translations of Gurbani is not enough. we have to dig deeper sometimes.
As Sikhs, we can’t change the Guru’s rules/teachings to adapt to our time because we feel the need to do so? So our Gurus not allowing any interfaith marriages beforehand(no historical reference that they did), think it would be acceptable because its 2016? The Guru’s teachings are Eternal, hence why Guru Granth Sahib is our Eternal Guru. We, as Sikh youth, need to get rid of manmat(our own mind thinking) and replace it was Gurmat(our Guru’s way). This way we can truly follow the spiritual path our Guru’s laid down for us.
Let’s face it some of us can’t deal with the Truth when it comes to Guru Nanak ji hukams or moreover our Guru’s teachings whoever might tell us whether its a non-westernized Sikh or whomever. We have to take the initiative to take step closer to our Guru. It might be hard through times like this where religious hypocrisy is common and whatever other problems there are, but we cannot let those factors distance ourselves further from Guru ji.
A Sikh is always a student learning new things. You should respect the Guru’s teaching but I don’t believe we should rid of thinking for ourselves. Once again that’s my opinion. And you are entitled to yours.
Hi Jyoti I agree with most of what Daas said. I also feel the excuse that I have heard frequently, hair is hard to maintain, is a rather weak excuse. I understand the double standard you speak of as well, but as Daas said it doesn’t go well on those sikhs. It is up to us to maintain Sikhi, and not up to how sikhi changes with time.
“As a head is essential for your shoulders hair is essential for spiritual connection while meditating upon God’s name.” Fascinating. Can you elaborate? Trying hard to wrap my head around the idea that the hairs on my scalp – not the mental focus, the purity of thought, or anything else, but the physical hair on my head – is the “essence” of my spiritual connection to God.
In case it isn’t clear, I completely disagree with you (more on that below). I am a 25-year old Sikh, born and raised in the United States to first generation immigrants from Punjab. I cut my hair for the first time last year, and I have no regrets; in fact, I feel more willing to talk about my relationship with Sikhism today than I ever did while wearing a turban. (Before I cut my hair, I wouldn’t even have considered writing this post). Speaking of which: that relationship with Sikhism is, for me, more cultural than spiritual. I believe in God, and I practice the core values that Sikhism teaches us (and that all major religions share): honesty, generosity, respect, equality, and a commitment to serving those in need, among others. But I spend little time engaging with the more spiritual elements of the religion.
This is not to say those spiritual elements are bad. On the contrary, I understand their tremendous potential and have witnessed the joy and growth they can provide. Sikhism transformed my father into a better person and strengthened my mother’s and brother’s resolve through some of their darkest times; faith has consistently been a rock for my family members. I credit my religious upbringing and my parents for instilling in me those core values described above. Nevertheless, I concluded long ago that I do not need to engage heavily with the spiritual side of the religion to maintain, strengthen, or even teach these values. Nor do I need such engagement to maintain my faith in God.
Anyways: Daas, your statement that I quote above reminds me of a passage I read describing the significance of rituals in a particular religion: “rituals are meant to inculcate feelings of devotion and religiosity and thereby bring God and spirituality into the center human life.” That passage describes the significance of Hindu rituals – the very rituals that Guru Nanak shunned when he CREATED our religion. (To be clear, this example is not in any way meant to criticize Hinduism, its adherents, or its rituals; everyone is entitled to their own beliefs, practices, and interpretations. Rather, the example is intended to demonstrate Daas’ fallacy). Indeed, Guru Nanak himself said (GGS, 355), “Through ritual actions, God cannot be won over.” I sometimes wonder how Sikhism went astray from its nascence, from the the original, core teachings of Guru Nanak. How did we allow hair, kirpans, and kanga’s – which, honestly, can only be described as ritualistic symbols – to become the defining factors of our religion, rather than the universal values taught by Guru Nanak (respect, honesty, equality, etc.)? At what point did we get it backwards? As I said above, I don’t engage much with the spiritual elements of the religion, so perhaps that is why I don’t find much value in these symbols. I’m sure you will have an answer as to why these symbols are important – an answer that you think will illuminate everything but that I just won’t find persuasive. At the end of the day, no matter what you say, I don’t know how these symbols help us practice the religion founded by Guru Nanak.
What I do know, however, is that YOU do not get to define my relationship with Sikhi, or whether I am a “good” or “bad” Sikh. I firmly believe in God. I strive for honesty and generosity in everything I do. I treat everyone with respect, and I serve my community – both Sikh and non-Sikh – whenever I can. I find it hard to imagine that, despite the life I lead, Guru Nanak would consider me a “bad” Sikh (or, even worse, not a Sikh at all) simply because I don’t engage in the symbolic aspects of the religion. Perhaps I am wrong; that is no doubt a possibility. But you are not in the high and mighty position to decide that; only Waheguru is in that position, and until I reach that gate, I will continue to focus on the values that make me a good person, not the symbols that make me feel or look like one.
To Jyoti: I discovered your blog while doing some research on Google. I don’t know you, but thanks for writing this post. Whether or not the old guard likes it, there will always be a place in Sikhism for people like us.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Hi Jyoti, Thanks for sharing your views! I agree that everyone is entitled to their opinions. But when you are lucky enough to be a Sikh like ourselves, we learn outside of our opinions and our limited sphere. We can learn from anyone and everyone. But, learning can happen only when we keep aside our opinions and listen to the other (and by other I only mean Guru Sahib, I personally believe mine/anyone’s opinions don’t matter-It’s all about what my Guru says). I used to have all these questions that you just raised and that’s the best part. You learn when you are curious and you search for answers. So here, I am sharing this link with you https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL5BAA432F966FCECC that changed my life! Please check it out! It has answers to so many unanswered questions in our community. Questions that youth is sometimes not allowed to raise or some the elders don’t have answers for. From a member of the Sikh youth to another, “please explore!”
Thank you so much for sharing this. I’m a 14 year old Sikh female. Over time, my parents never really seemed to care or forced upon me having uncut hair but rather just following Sikhism. Recently, just two months ago I got a pixie cut. Ah the shock of my grandparents saying I will go to hell and females should have long hair. I find it confusing that if a Sikh male cuts their hair/shaves no one nesseccarily pays mind but if females do it’s suddenly a big deal. I really do love being a Sikh but if the guru granth sahib said respecting equality is amazing,why am I suddenly being judged for hair? As you said, wearing a kaara is more of a easier way to show uniform. I would like to hear you’re thoughts on this if possible.
I totally understand what you’re feeling. People are so focused on the ‘rules’ of being a Sikh, they forget about the values Sikhism embodies. I actually just came back from a trip in Punjab, and it was so sad to see how unequal women are to men. Equality is the last thing on all these ‘dharmak’ Sikhs minds- they are too focused on chastising us over our hair.
A Sikh is not only about hair, doing a good deed with or without wearing TURBAN doesn’t change anything.
Not all people wearing TURBAN are good and not all people without TURBAN are good.
You have to be good from the inside.
Guru would definitely bless you either way.
I am sure GURU has sacrificed a lots and lots of things,including lives. You know why that happened ? Most of the time it was only because, they were getting forced to change their religion. You know why GURU NANAK ji started our community, it was only because Hindus were forcefully being converted to Muslim. So, he started a community(SIKHISM) with a thought that there shouldn’t be any rules or destruction due to a religion.(What he stated was THERE IS NO HINDU, THERE IS NO MUSLIM. What he meant was everyone is equal).Cut to, our last GURU, he started KHALSA where he brought certain rules and regulations reg the identity of KHALSA SIKH. I am not saying anything wrong about that sir. But you are a grown up, Don’t you think, people have every rights to do whatever they want. I am sure that if even GURU was alive now he would have given people a choice.
I would like to conclude by saying that SIKH is not about having hair. SIKH’s were human back then who would stand for people seeking help. You just have to be good from inside. Showing people you are SIKH or not is on one side but helping people with or without hair is a true SIKH than showing your identity as a SIKH is what i think.