I’m Sikh and I cut my hair 2.0

Over a year ago, I wrote the original blog post- I’m Sikh, and I cut my hair– in which I spoke about various circumstances and views in Sikhism that I felt needed to be brought to the spotlight. The post had many supporters, and at the same time had many ‘haters’ (cue T Swift song now). A few weeks after I posted the article, an Uncle suggested I write a follow up- a great idea indeed, but it has truly taken me a long time to figure out what exactly to say.

Disclaimer: I made it very clear in the previous post that this is all my personal opinion- I’m not an expert on religion by any means, and I would like to make that clear once again. I also understand everyone is not going to see eye to eye with me, this  post is just another attempt to try to get my point across, it is not to just complain about the negative feedback.

My overall take away after reviewing the feedback is that most of the people who were against what I wrote completely missed the general point of the article, and just fixated on the importance of Sikhs keeping their hair (and marrying within Sikhism). By no means was I trying to promote that Sikhs should cut their hair and that the aspect of keeping hair should be taken out of the religion. What was the point of the article? The point was that every person has the right to choose their own level of commitment and engagement to their faith and no one has the right to denounce someone’s faith (one cannot say I’m not a Sikh because I cut my hair). There is so much more to Sikhism than just keeping hair, and unfortunately the only thing most outsiders know about Sikhism is that they wear turbans. I️t is a ritual at this point and Guru Nanak created our religion to shun rituals. Guru Nanak himself said (GGS, 355), “Through ritual actions, God cannot be won over.” We’re all so caught up in rituals and believing everything that comes by word of mouth, that many of us forget what is actually written in the Guru Granth Sahib. In present day, Sikhs are still attacked and called terrorists due to ignorance, shouldn’t it be our biggest concern to educate the world to keep our community safe?

Some more criticism that stood out to me was an individual who said the following things- thinking for ourselves (which is what I did by writing the article) is against our Gurus teachings and that we should only follow what they say- we should get rid of Manmat and replace it with Gurmat. I️ was told my thought of Sikhism’s need to progress with modern times was an excuse to not follow the hukams given by our Gurus.

Well, let me tell you what I’ve witnessed when I see devotees following ‘Gurmat’. I’ve seen people telling elders they must sit on the floor in the Darbar hall no matter what their medical condition. I’ve seen them telling others that even though it’s the dead of winter in America, socks cannot be worn in the Gurudawara. I’ve seen a lady passed out in the Darbar hall in need of CPR, but the biggest worry at the moment was that her head was not covered. I’ve seen a man with Polio unable to sit on the ground, unbelievably criticized for using a chair.

And while we’re on the topic of Gurmat- please tell me why absurd rules are being made by a small group of people on the other side of the world? The Anand Karaj (Sikh marriage ceremony) can no longer be done at hotels- a new rule which goes against the fact that the Guru Granth Sahib can be taken anywhere needed. People will argue that there is meat and there is alcohol at the hotel, well there’s meat and alcohol at many of the houses the Granth Sahib goes to for various paaths, soooo…..? How are Gurudawaras allowed to ban women from doing kirtan when women are given equality and the utmost respect in our religion?(Two wheels of a wheelbarrow ring a bell?) Gurmat is not being followed here, but that’s ok, they keep their hair so they’re allowed to do whatever they please. Sikhism is being radicalized, regressing, even though Guru Nanak started creating Sikhism as a religion of progression.

I hit a point of confusion when I read that we should rid of Manmat. Without Manmat Sikhism wouldn’t even exist. Guru Nanak Dev Ji thought for himself and didn’t agree with many aspects of Hinduism and set off on a journey which lead to the birth of Sikhism. The world progresses as we learn more and migrate, as we improve philosophy to better ourselves as individuals and as a community. If we didn’t think for ourselves, I wouldn’t be able to live in a country where I can walk as an equal next to a man (this may not be a religious example but I hope you get the point). As Sikhs, we are eternal students. A student that doesn’t use critical thinking to improve on knowledge that exists is not a true student, they are just a blind follower. The need for Sikhism to progress is not an excuse for anything, it is a way for all of us to better ourselves as a community, and show to the world that we are leaders in humanity.

My supporters had many great thoughts to add to my own! Many of which I have incorporated in my own thoughts above. They all grasped the moral of my story- internal values, being a good human being, and positively contributing to society are the key aspects to religion in general. Getting caught up in the external rituals is what leads to conflict and unrest.

I’ve  witnessed a lot of changes at my home Gurudawara over the past year that are truly amazing. They’ve started bringing in physicians to give lectures on different health issues to the sangat. They have started to promote other healthcare wellness activities including open clinics and bone marrow and blood drives. The Gurudawara holds sessions for students to learn the ins and outs of the process to apply for college. And the list could go on. I’m sure many other Gurudawaras have been doing the same and nothing makes me happier! This is progression, and this is how we take the first steps to bettering our community.

We live in a time that Sikhs are attacked and called terrorists because of the ignorance of others. All I see are people in our community (in all countries) fighting each other over nonsense instead of uniting and showing the world how beautiful our religion is. To see a change, you have to make a change- adapting to society just a little but could be the most helpful thing in keeping our religion alive.

There’s plenty more to be said, but no one likes to read 5 page articles. Until next time, Chak de Phattey!

I’m Sikh, and I cut my hair

I’m Sikh, and I cut my hair. And if I got a dollar for every time I’ve been told that I’m not a Sikh because I cut my hair- I could probably buy a Ferrari (or pay for Med school, priorities…).

I’ve spoken about religion before (You can read it here!), and I’ll say it again, I’m not an expert on any religion, including my own. I’m also aware that religion can be interpreted by each person a different way. But at the end of the day there are core principals to each religion that cannot be forgotten, and if your interpretation of the religion starts to wander away from those principals, I believe you can be told that you are wrong. I’ve been wanting to write/speak about this topic for a few years now, because I feel as though my religion as a whole is wandering off the path our founders had made for us, and in light of recent interactions with Sikhs in the community, I finally decided to speak my mind in hopes my thoughts will spark thoughts in others. At the Gurudawara (place of worship) I attend back home, an elder member made a statement that the youth are walking away from our faith- in a way she was right, but, aunty ji, let me tell you what’s really going on…

Sikhism, essentially (or so I have been taught at the Gurudawara), came about because our first Guru, Guru Nanak Dev Ji, born a Hindu, came to the conclusion that many rituals had come in the way of religion and were blinding the core values his religion embodied. He went on pilgrimages with both Hindus and Muslims, and asked them why certain rituals were performed, and then politely argued why the ritual was nonsense using the beliefs each religion encompassed. He then proceeded to branch off both religions and start a new one, Sikhism (literal meaning of Sikh= Student). Sikhs are known to be warriors, but they should also be known as students in the classroom of life. Each Guru after Guru Nanak Dev Ji helped build the religion through life events, taking in wisdom from their fellow Hindu and Muslim colleagues. And at the end of the 10 Guru era, we, the Sikhs of today, are left with a book, our 11th and eternal Guru, the Guru Granth Sahib, which brings to together thoughtful pieces of knowledge from Sikhs, Muslims, and Hindus.

Now after that VERY brief history lesson, lets get back to the topic of hair and why the youth seem to be “walking away”. In Sikhism we have the 5 Ks, which are supposed to be our uniform. Kesh (uncut hair), Karra (Steel bracelet), Kanga (a wooden comb), Kacha (cotton underwear), and Kirpan (a steel sword) are the 5 Ks, and I fully understand the significance behind each (go read up on it, too much to explain) and how they came about, and the sacrifices made to keep this uniform intact back in the day. At first, one of the reasons the uniform came about was so you could tell who was a Sikh from a Hindu and a Muslim. And it stuck due to many things that happened during the era of the lives of 10 different Gurus (so basically a lot happened) (Ugh, sorry for continuing the history lesson). Now lets fast forward to the 21st century in America, where if a person were caught with a steel sword dangling at their waist, they would be considered a threat. So many of the Sikhs out there who keep their hair uncut and/or wear a turban, don’t carry that sword. Many girls who keep their hair uncut but don’t wear the turban do not hide the little wooden comb in their hair (many turban wearing men don’t either). Many Sikh physicians with uncut hair don’t wear the steel bracelet all the time because it is not sanitary. Do you see where I’m getting at here? Not every Sikh with uncut hair abides by all 5 Ks. I can see how it is easier to keep your hair than carry a sword, but at the end of the day, how you look DOES NOT DETERMINE YOUR FAITH-  or your dedication towards your religion either (This is in fact a teaching from Guru Nanak Dev Ji himself), because religion is not a physical tangible thing, it’s a theory that lives in your mind not on your body. I cut my hair because it’s hard to maintain, I wasn’t blessed with silky beautiful hair, and I live in a world and am in a profession where my appearance matters. I know that being Sikh is not at all about what’s on the outside, but what’s on the inside. (And having more time not doing my hair, gives me more time to serve the community- a Sikh core value) I do wear a karra, which for me is the most practical way in today’s society to still wear the uniform of a Sikh, kind of like how a Christian may wear a Cross around their neck, but if I see a Sikh not wearing one, the thought that they aren’t a Sikh has never crossed my mind.  Uncut hair to me is now synonymous to a ritual that is blinding our religion from it’s core values (hmm remind you of something?).

Each Religion, along with Sikhism, have rules along side their beliefs. These rules are there for the beneficence of the followers. For example, something many people don’t know due to the punjabi stereotype, Sikhs are also supposed to refrain from alcohol and meat, why? Because of health reasons, it’s not good for your body. Which makes this rule understandable, but if someone does consume either or both, that still doesn’t mean they don’t embody the values of Sikhism. And nothing enrages me more than when I hear a turban wearing uncle I saw hitting up the bar at a wedding the past weekend, tell me at the Gurudawara I’m not Sikh because of my hair, and his obviously hung over son is. Like really, you can break a rule but I can’t? To put it in a little perspective for other religions- being told your cut hair makes you not a Sikh is like telling a Muslim girl she’s not Muslim because she doesn’t wear a hijab, or a Christian isn’t Christian because they don’t go to church every Sunday. We have other rules that are kind of like rituals as well, but are meant to show respect which is completely understandable- for example in the Sikh prayer hall you must cover your head, and your back should never face the front of the hall where the Guru Granth Sahib is. But even these well accepted rules have been taken way out of context and is part of the reason, in my opinion, Sikhism is falling apart in our society today.

Now that I’ve covered my beef with the hair situation, let’s move on to why the youth is walking away. I’ll start with the story that made me finally write this post- a few weeks ago my uncle passed away, and our family arranged a funeral and prayer processional in a matter of days. It’s customary in pretty much all cultures and religions to keep a picture of the deceased at the front of the ceremonies so you can remember them. My uncle cut his hair, and the picture his children chose to remember him with obviously did not have him wearing a turban. When they showed up to place the picture in the Gurudawara on day one of a three day prayer ceremony (Akhand Path) they were turned away because the PICTURE did not have their father’s head covered, and they had a problem all of the sudden with putting the picture in the front of the room because technically his back would be to Guru Granth Sahib- like come on its a picture for crying out loud! And it’s to honor someone who passed away, why are we getting into the nitty gritty of the rituals and being blinded from how our religion honors those who have left us? After a little bit of arguing our family was allowed to place a picture we found with him wearing a turban at the front of the prayer hall. Please tell me at this point you all are catching my drift and can see how ridiculous that was, and many other actions that elders in our community have taken that are not at all what Sikhism truly represents. Sikhism’s CORE VALUES are- be a good person, be hard working, share your wealth with your community, everyone is equal, be an honest and respectful person, avoid ego, avoid greed, avoid lust and anger, and bring peace- “Kirat Karni, Naam Japo, and Wand Kay Shako.” One of my favorite stories in Sikhism is where a Guru was asked to lunch by a poor man and a rich man – the poor man made it with his own hands and the rich man was greedy, and exploited labor to serve the Guru lunch. When the Guru squeezed the poor man’s roti (bread) milk came out, and when he squeezed the rich man’s roti blood came out. Moral of the story- be an honest and good person. It’s truly a very simple religion. We are supposed to be known as the most inviting religion, where we don’t force you to convert but we welcome you into our home to share our wisdom, in hopes you will share yours. In fact the Golden temple has four doors to enter, because Guru Arjun was aware that the other religions of the world use a specific direction for the layout of their houses of worship, so he had a door placed so that anyone could enter the Temple from the direction his religion dictated. Yet- recently some Sikh council in the UK decided that Sikhs can no longer marry non- Sikhs in a Gurudawara. Once again rituals blinding the religion itself. And this is why we are walking away. I’m still a Sikh, and I love my religion, but I only go to the Gurudawara every once in awhile to listen to Kirtan and meditate to clear my mind so I can get back to studying. I don’t listen to what the elders have to say anymore, because I feel like they are destroying the beautiful religion Sikhism is (and the politics at some of these Gurudawaras are almost as ridiculous as the GOP debates this year). Sikhs are the first to call out other religions for being too radical, but they forget to see what they are doing to their own faith.

Aamir Khan created an entire movie, PK, on how rituals are destroying and blinding religions. A movie everyone in this world should watch.

Guru Nanak Dev Ji created an entire religion, because he felt rituals were destroying and blinding other faiths. It’s sad to see that his followers are undoing all of his hard work. In a time where Sikh hate crimes are at a high, we should be progressing and informing others about the beauty of our religion, not regressing and losing followers.

That was my rant- now you’re probably asking, cool Jyoti, what’re going to do about it? Well I’m going to share this in hopes this makes some people realize what’s going on or realize they aren’t the only one with this thought. And then I’m going to keep Sikhism alive with my own kids- the right way. I don’t know if I will marry another Sikh, but I do know I’ll teach my kids to be a good person like Sikhism embodies, because faith isn’t just something you pray towards, its how you act on a day to day basis.

Let the hater’s hate on this, Chak De Phattey!

-J

 

It’s more than blood.

Today, for Indians, is a holiday known as Raksha Bandan or Rakhi. It’s a holiday that celebrates the bond between brother and sister! Traditionally the sister ties a rakhi, a bracelet, on to her brother, and in return receives a gift. Along with this ceremony comes prayers and lots of sweets- all conclusive to the sister praying for a lengthy life for her brother, and the strengthening of the siblings’ bond.

I am one of two sisters, but that doesn’t mean I don’t celebrate rakhi!

For me, the term brother defines a relationship- and not necessarily a biological one. A brother is a male in your life who has a piece of your heart, but not romantically (Obviously lol). He is a person you go to for advice, and to relieve your chest of all worries. He’s a shoulder to cry on, and a trusty body guard. He is your best friend, your biggest critic, and your biggest supporter. He’s someone you feel you need approval from, essentially another parent. He is one of the only people you can hate and want to strangle, but then love and want to attack with hugs all within ten minutes. He could be older, or he could be younger- he is someone you care about as much as you would your own blood.

I have a special few people in my life that fit the definition of brother. Today is a day I’d like to remind them how appreciative I am that they put up with my nonsense and still love me unconditionally- I would honestly be a train wreck if I didn’t have them to pick me up when ever I’m down. Biology is only a small percentage of what makes a relationship- the rest is all in the heart!

Whether you’re Indian or not, go give your ‘brothers’ and ‘sisters’ a hug, and thank them for being the wonderful pillars they are in your life!

Cheers to these two weirdos for being there no matter how annoying I am- Love you!!

Meech! aka Mitra.

The love each other too

Princess Pranav!

Happy Raksha Bandan!

-J

Remembering Life

Death is inevitable, at least for now.

Almost everyone reading this has lost someone close to them that has effected their life to some degree. Most people keep their feelings bundled up, putting out a strong front. But inside they are hurting, they go through roller coasters, they start to feel as if they may even be a little crazy? They most definitely are not crazy. We all go through it, and we all find our own ways to cope eventually. I’m going to share with you my story, maybe it relates to you, maybe not. It may bore you, or it may give you something to reflect about, or even create a bond with me? (new bonds are the best!)

I lost my grandfather a little over a year back, and life has not been the same.

He came to America to live the American dream, and I can say with great pride, he did it. He left his home country, attended UCLA, and got an amazing job as an engineer. He then brought the rest of my family to America, worked his way up in his company, followed by an early retirement in his 50s. He then started his own real-estate company and thrived, using his free time for philanthropic activities, and supporting the Sikh community. He left behind an astonishing legacy.

He lived in Texas, I live in Ohio. I didn’t see him everyday, nor did I converse with him everyday. But he was always a huge part of my life. He always encouraged me to do my best; my life goal was to bring tears of joy to his eyes. He is the reason I chose to pursue medicine. He was known to lecture anyone and everyone who crossed his path- except me. I was his “mini- me”. He enjoyed arguing with me, urging me to use a higher level of analytical skills and to expand my verbal skills. Throughout the years he taught me an innumerable amount of lessons, pieces of wisdom that helped mold me into who I am today.

I found out he had terminal cancer about 3 weeks before he passed. By the time I had found out, he had suffered a brain hemorrhage. He was improving from that and his body was sustaining well, therefore I didn’t plan to fly out to Texas until after my finals. I spoke to him briefly on the phone during his recovery, unfortunately he was only pretending to know who I was over the phone, because he knew he was suffering from loss of brain function, but he was always the strongest person in the family so he couldn’t let his guard down; his voice tone gave everything away. At the time, I had no idea that would be the last time I’d hear his voice. I rushed through finals, and raced home from school to catch a flight to Dallas. I retuned home to find out that I wasn’t flying out to visit my grandfather, but to attend his funeral. I was too late. At that very moment the only things flashing in my mind were the last few moments we shared together. The last hug I gave him before he left after my High School graduation, the last phone call we had when he was still in a conscious state, and his last words to me during that phone call, “Never stop making me proud, Jyoti.” Then regrets came flashing through my mind. Why didn’t I call him more often, was I really that busy with school? Why didn’t I just take my finals earlier? Why didn’t I push him to go to the doctor earlier? How did I not notice that he was ill when I last saw him? Why, why, why? All of that was followed by a funeral and a closure that never really occurred for me.

After that long heart to heart- well just my heart- let me tell you how this loss has effected my life, maybe relating to you? I think of him at least once a day. Every failure and every success, I think of him. If I hear of another death, I think of him. On some days, I forget he’s not here. When I think about my future, graduation, white coat, weddings, I think about his absence. And most of all, when my stress level with school is off the roof and I just want to throw it all in and give up, I think of him. He drives my motivation, he drives my happy days, and he drives my days of sorrow. He’s no longer here, but he still is a huge part of my life, and always will be. He’s one of the main reasons I’m here.

Not only do I think of him, but I start to worry about the rest of my family that’s aging. I recently met up with my grandma, and when I was hugging her good bye, I didn’t want to let go- ever. I left her with a heavy heart, thoughts of when I’ll see her next racing through my head.

Today, go home and call that loved one you haven’t spoken to in while. Give a hug to your mom, dad, aunt, cousin, grandparent, or best friend. Never make life too busy where you end up with one of the regrets I did, and still have. Don’t forget to say Thank You, or I love you. (I’m the worst at showing affection so I understand, it can be hard) And most of all, don’t be scared to let out your feelings like I just did. Reach out to those close to you, they will always be there to listen. Everyone has those days where they remember the past, happy moments and sad. Letting your heart out is the best therapy!

-J

One Love.

I’m Sikh. My roommates are Catholic and Muslim. Some of my closest friends are Christian, Hindu, and Jain. I don’t view any one of them as superior or inferior to me due to their faith and beliefs (or at all, lol). And because of this, I cannot wrap my head around the fact that about 95% of the hatred in this world is due to the fact that people are of different religions. Obviously everyone is obliged to their own opinion and can hate or love whom ever they wish to; this is just my own opinion on how the beautiful people of the 21st century should interact!

Just in the past few weeks I’ve heard a lot of negativity towards people due to their religious denomination. People are pointing fingers at the pilot of the flight that went missing because he is Muslim. A Rapper posted an Instagram picture of an elder turban wearing Sikh at the airport with a rude caption in regards to the security check. The Fort Hood shooter’s case is being scrutinized and called unfair because he is Christian and not of a religion stereotyped with terrorism. But that’s just in the past few weeks. Throughout my life I’ve heard plenty of things about people of different religious denominations; and I don’t understand why such things are said in the era we have progressed into. “You can’t marry him, he’s Muslim/Christian.” “You don’t worship Jesus? You are soulless and going to hell.” “What kind of religion believes in reincarnation? That’s stupid.” And the one that gets me the most… “You live in a Christian Country.” The last time I checked, people migrated here for the freedom of religion and I’m pretty sure it’s in the First Amendment. The proper phrase would be that the majority of the population in this country are Christian, but that does not make us a Country that must abide and live by the Bible.

I’m no expert on the religions of the world, nor am I an expert on my own religion. But, I find an interest in learning about different cultures and religions so I have done quite a bit of reading. And what I have deduced (remember this is my own opinion!) is that essentially all religions are the same. The main point of all religions is to give people order, a set of rules that allow the human race to live together in a civilized manner. The next main point is to give people a source of faith and hope. The thought of a superior being (or beings) allows for people to leave fate in the hands of that superior being. And another main point is that religion brings unity. A common set of beliefs brings together a group of people, and that group of people could be an entire country, or just a dozen people in a community.

From what I’ve read, all religions have the same back bone. BE A GOOD PERSON. Don’t think of yourself as a superior. Help the community you live in prosper by lending a helping hand to your neighbors. In Sikhism there are three pillars the religion stands on; “Kirat Karni”- which means to gain your earnings honestly and respectfully, and to carry out good deeds; “Naap Japo”- which means to remember god’s name, leading your mind to rid of ego, greed, anger, attachment and lust, bringing peace; “Wand kay Shako”-  which means to share your wealth and help those in need. To me that’s just the Punjabi or Gurbani translation to what every religion preaches! The only difference I see is the way certain rituals are enacted and how punishment is given, if given at all. But rituals and punishment are just minor parts to religion, the major part is what the beliefs are. Religion is why most people don’t murder, steal, or harm others. Religion is what keeps optimism and hope in people when going through a hard time in life. It provides a light in the darkness, something to lean on for peace and serenity.

So what? So this should show why we shouldn’t segregate based on religion, or at all really. Sure there are differences here and there between faiths, but that’s just something new to learn from when exposed to, it may help you become an even better person. We all believe in and want to be a better person, so we shouldn’t let religion get in the way of doing that. We shouldn’t let religion be the ‘reason’ or ‘blame’ for a catastrophic event. We shouldn’t let religion determine who you can interact with or be the reason you hate a person.

A Sikh can marry a Muslim. A Hindu can marry a Christian. A Catholic can marry a Buddhist. A Jain can marry someone who is Jewish.

There shouldn’t be a reason those relationships should be looked down upon. Each individual can have their own set of beliefs, and learn to fuse them with those of their loved ones. I’m sure it’s easier said than done, but hey, no pain- no gain.

We shouldn’t blame someone for a crime, or an act looked down upon because of their religion. They should only be blamed if they are the culprit and if their individual set of beliefs lead them to take that action; not every person that belongs to the same religion would believe that action is righteous. There will always be a rotten apple in the batch, but you cannot let that categorize the entire batch as rotten, or you will be wasting a great resource of energy. Same thing applies to people of different cultures and religions, don’t let one person leave a sour taste for the rest of the group!

I probably could go on for days about this but I think I’ve made my point. One love y’all. As I’ve said before, we’re all in this world together, let’s work together to succeed. Maybe you’ll ask the random person sitting next to you on the bus/metro about their faith and culture today, learn something new? It can’t hurt!

Have a splendid day!

-J

Kids these days.

This topic is very near and dear to my heart. It’s something everyone should read, hopefully get a lesson out of, and become a better person. I’m not saying I’m anywhere near perfect, but I’d like to share a story that may change some people’s perspective on how they treat people.

There’s this person in my life, who I extremely care about, a person who I would go to the ends of the universe to make happy, a person I live for and work hard for everyday. This special person has a special condition called epilepsy, which hinders her cognitive skills. This hindrance causes communication problems, learning issues, and effects her social interactions.

Once upon a time, I was 12, 13, 14 years old, and I can proudly say I was never a bully. I never thought I was better or cooler than anyone, I never made fun of anyone (unless it was picking on my best friends of course). I was the kid that defended the poor kid getting bullied, I was the kid that would make them my friend no matter what others thought. This may have been because I was bullied and picked on when I was a little kid, but it shouldn’t matter what your past was, being nice is always the right thing to do. The people that I made sure to be extra nice to and go out of my way for (without being too obvious!) were the kids who had special needs, whether they were physical or educational disabilities. Why? Because the best way for them to improve and thrive in school is by feeling as though they fit in no matter what. This pushes them to do well in school and encourages them to keep trying. It shows them that they have a support system and that they can tackle any challenge, because for them everything is harder than it is for me.

Back to my special person. My special person is picked on; she doesn’t have very many true friends. She is unbelievably kind to everyone no matter how they treat her, and she makes sure everyone feels special. But I see those same people and the way they interact with her. They are mean, ruthless little teens. They treat her as if she’s nothing (a quote from my special person). Why? Because she can’t always properly tell stories, because she’s not super into talking about the subjects they are, because she has hair that’s shorter on one side than the other BECAUSE HER HEAD WAS SHAVED FOR BRAIN SURGERY. Yeah that’s right, this young 13 year old special person has already gone under an extremely invasive procedure at such a tender age. Which brings me to a topic that completely breaks my heart. Around the same time my special person went under the knife another young girl did that was part of a group of people she considers her “friends”. This girl got support on facebook, twitter, instagram, everywhere, wishing her good luck and a speedy recovery. And my special person, well she had one supporter out there, me. She came to me later after her month long stay in the hospital and she said, “Jyoti, maybe if I was smart like (the other girl’s name), then everyone would have supported me too, and the surgery didn’t even make me smart.” You can probably deduce that at this point the waterworks had started. They sure did, I cried for days, wishing I could do something, give her my intelligence (not that I have much) or even just yell at all these kids that made her feel like she’s nothing.

But you know what, she wasn’t down because no one said anything to her, she stayed positive. She started 8th grade, worked her butt off and got straight As for the first time. She started coming to me for fashion advice, and on how to style her uneven hair. And she continued to treat those kids who aren’t nice to her with the utmost respect and kindness. She still makes them feel special. And they still treat her like nothing.

I sit here and watch. All I want to do is strangle these kids and make them realize how wrong they are. You may not think they are wrong, but I do. I know they are all genuinely nice kids and I also know what being a teen is like and how important it is to be ‘cool’. Being friends with someone that’s not completely normal, is super ‘uncool’. Or at least that’s how they think. But honestly being nice and being friends with kids like my special someone is the coolest thing possible. It makes you a person that lives above the cliches and the fads. You standout for being down to earth and kind.

My special person is hilarious, her smile brightens my world and her loved ones’ world, she’s driven, beautiful, and has the biggest heart. All I wish for is for her to thrive more than I ever can.

What was this long obnoxious rant about? (Sorry about that!) It was just me trying to say, BE NICE. Don’t judge a person by their cover, or ever really. Have a clean heart, and never make a person feel left out. We’re all here in this world together, and the best way to make this world thrive is to make it thrive TOGETHER. Don’t pick on that kid that sits alone at lunch, sit with them. Don’t make fun of the boy with the funky shoes on, compliment his style. Don’t neglect someone who’s not as smart as you, help them.

Not trying to create world peace here, just trying to be a better person myself. I hope I didn’t make you mad, or sad, or annoyed.

I love you all.

-J

Do you believe in Fortunes?

Yea, I took that artsy fartsy picture, nbd.

I got this fortune out of a cookie the other day, and usually I just laugh at them and throw them out, but this one caught my eye.

It made me realize, it’s that time in life. That scarrrryy scaryyyy time when college graduation is approaching, not just for me, but for a lot of my friends too. High school graduation was exciting because it opened the doors to an adult life where we could still hold our parents’ hands (and we were all basically going to school with each other). But now we are all dispersing, some are going off to medical school, other grad schools, and some are even entering the real world of having a job!

WHEN DID WE GROW UP?!?

Remember those beautiful summer nights when we were frolicking around town until 2 am– biking, scootering, piling in ice cream, and having a sleep over at someone’s house every night? Now our summer nights are filled with paper work, scrambling to find internships/ research, and finishing up class work so we can graduate on time!

On facebook, instead of seeing Sweet 16 invites, and college acceptance letters, I see engagements, weddings, babies; EW. (not the babies, I love kids)

I would kill to rewind back 3-4 years and never let the thought of wanting to grow up cross my head. If you’re still in high school, LIVE IT UP homie, live it up!

Sure we’ll all be crossing great waters soon, and we will have to take it one day at a time, or wave at a time if we want to continue the metaphor, right?

SO, here’s a cheers to putting our big girl (or boy) pants on and letting our generation take over the world. (If I sink on the way, please send me a raft and pull me to safety!)

Chak De Phattey!
-J

-I wouldn’t be trying out this blogging thing if it weren’t for one of my good friends Janaki! Go follow her and her beautiful-ness! http://janaki-patel94.tumblr.com/

Chak De Phattey!

Hello Beautiful people!

We all have a phrase. A phrase that defines our life, one which you attempt to live by, or just something you say all the time. With this new era of slang I hear people say YOLO, turn up, low key, and a plethora of other words that may sometimes slip out of my mouth too.

But today I want to introduce a new phrase, a phrase that many of you know and many of you don’t- Chak De Phattey! (Chuck- they- phutay)

I’m Punjabi (A person from the state of Punjab, India), and Chak De Phattey is a phrase of the Punjabi language. Its literal meaning is “Pick up the Phattey”, Phattey being wooden planks. The phrase was first coined years ago when the Sikh Warriors were fighting the Mughals. After the Sikhs would end a battle, they would move on to the next city and destroy the bridge as they crossed, picking up the wood planks of the bridge yelling, “Chak de phattey!”

After that brief history lesson, you’re probably wondering why “Pick up the wooden plank” is my phrase of choice. Well, even back then the phrase was used to signify a victory, a phrase used to pump up and encourage the warriors, to keep the optimism up, and to give them confidence to move on. So basically Chak de phattey combines YOLO, “Just do it”, “And then some”, along with a long list of optimistic terms all into one three worded phrase. Simple.

So….

Before a big exam- Chak De Phattey!

Before you compete in a sporting event- Chak de Phattey!

Before you enter a party- Chak De Phattey!

When you wake up every morning to start a new adventure in life- Chak De Phattey!

I hope you all learned a new phrase today, or learned to look at it in a new way. All of our lives are busy, stressful, and no where near perfect. But staying optimistic and encouraging yourself (and others) makes life just a tad easier!

 

Chak De Phattey!

-J

 

Who’s Jyoti?

I’m your average Indian girl (I may be 24, but I’m still a kid), juggling two cultures, hoping to make her parents/ loved ones proud, and maybe make it in a history book one day? (or nah)
I live life one day at a time, because you can’t always be waiting for tomorrow. And this is me sharing with you the adventures we all take on together!

I hope you enjoy the ride, because I plan to!

-J