I’m Sikh and I cut my hair 2.0

Over a year ago, I wrote the original blog post- I’m Sikh, and I cut my hair– in which I spoke about various circumstances and views in Sikhism that I felt needed to be brought to the spotlight. The post had many supporters, and at the same time had many ‘haters’ (cue T Swift song now). A few weeks after I posted the article, an Uncle suggested I write a follow up- a great idea indeed, but it has truly taken me a long time to figure out what exactly to say.

Disclaimer: I made it very clear in the previous post that this is all my personal opinion- I’m not an expert on religion by any means, and I would like to make that clear once again. I also understand everyone is not going to see eye to eye with me, this  post is just another attempt to try to get my point across, it is not to just complain about the negative feedback.

My overall take away after reviewing the feedback is that most of the people who were against what I wrote completely missed the general point of the article, and just fixated on the importance of Sikhs keeping their hair (and marrying within Sikhism). By no means was I trying to promote that Sikhs should cut their hair and that the aspect of keeping hair should be taken out of the religion. What was the point of the article? The point was that every person has the right to choose their own level of commitment and engagement to their faith and no one has the right to denounce someone’s faith (one cannot say I’m not a Sikh because I cut my hair). There is so much more to Sikhism than just keeping hair, and unfortunately the only thing most outsiders know about Sikhism is that they wear turbans. I️t is a ritual at this point and Guru Nanak created our religion to shun rituals. Guru Nanak himself said (GGS, 355), “Through ritual actions, God cannot be won over.” We’re all so caught up in rituals and believing everything that comes by word of mouth, that many of us forget what is actually written in the Guru Granth Sahib. In present day, Sikhs are still attacked and called terrorists due to ignorance, shouldn’t it be our biggest concern to educate the world to keep our community safe?

Some more criticism that stood out to me was an individual who said the following things- thinking for ourselves (which is what I did by writing the article) is against our Gurus teachings and that we should only follow what they say- we should get rid of Manmat and replace it with Gurmat. I️ was told my thought of Sikhism’s need to progress with modern times was an excuse to not follow the hukams given by our Gurus.

Well, let me tell you what I’ve witnessed when I see devotees following ‘Gurmat’. I’ve seen people telling elders they must sit on the floor in the Darbar hall no matter what their medical condition. I’ve seen them telling others that even though it’s the dead of winter in America, socks cannot be worn in the Gurudawara. I’ve seen a lady passed out in the Darbar hall in need of CPR, but the biggest worry at the moment was that her head was not covered. I’ve seen a man with Polio unable to sit on the ground, unbelievably criticized for using a chair.

And while we’re on the topic of Gurmat- please tell me why absurd rules are being made by a small group of people on the other side of the world? The Anand Karaj (Sikh marriage ceremony) can no longer be done at hotels- a new rule which goes against the fact that the Guru Granth Sahib can be taken anywhere needed. People will argue that there is meat and there is alcohol at the hotel, well there’s meat and alcohol at many of the houses the Granth Sahib goes to for various paaths, soooo…..? How are Gurudawaras allowed to ban women from doing kirtan when women are given equality and the utmost respect in our religion?(Two wheels of a wheelbarrow ring a bell?) Gurmat is not being followed here, but that’s ok, they keep their hair so they’re allowed to do whatever they please. Sikhism is being radicalized, regressing, even though Guru Nanak started creating Sikhism as a religion of progression.

I hit a point of confusion when I read that we should rid of Manmat. Without Manmat Sikhism wouldn’t even exist. Guru Nanak Dev Ji thought for himself and didn’t agree with many aspects of Hinduism and set off on a journey which lead to the birth of Sikhism. The world progresses as we learn more and migrate, as we improve philosophy to better ourselves as individuals and as a community. If we didn’t think for ourselves, I wouldn’t be able to live in a country where I can walk as an equal next to a man (this may not be a religious example but I hope you get the point). As Sikhs, we are eternal students. A student that doesn’t use critical thinking to improve on knowledge that exists is not a true student, they are just a blind follower. The need for Sikhism to progress is not an excuse for anything, it is a way for all of us to better ourselves as a community, and show to the world that we are leaders in humanity.

My supporters had many great thoughts to add to my own! Many of which I have incorporated in my own thoughts above. They all grasped the moral of my story- internal values, being a good human being, and positively contributing to society are the key aspects to religion in general. Getting caught up in the external rituals is what leads to conflict and unrest.

I’ve  witnessed a lot of changes at my home Gurudawara over the past year that are truly amazing. They’ve started bringing in physicians to give lectures on different health issues to the sangat. They have started to promote other healthcare wellness activities including open clinics and bone marrow and blood drives. The Gurudawara holds sessions for students to learn the ins and outs of the process to apply for college. And the list could go on. I’m sure many other Gurudawaras have been doing the same and nothing makes me happier! This is progression, and this is how we take the first steps to bettering our community.

We live in a time that Sikhs are attacked and called terrorists because of the ignorance of others. All I see are people in our community (in all countries) fighting each other over nonsense instead of uniting and showing the world how beautiful our religion is. To see a change, you have to make a change- adapting to society just a little but could be the most helpful thing in keeping our religion alive.

There’s plenty more to be said, but no one likes to read 5 page articles. Until next time, Chak de Phattey!

I’m Sikh, and I cut my hair

I’m Sikh, and I cut my hair. And if I got a dollar for every time I’ve been told that I’m not a Sikh because I cut my hair- I could probably buy a Ferrari (or pay for Med school, priorities…).

I’ve spoken about religion before (You can read it here!), and I’ll say it again, I’m not an expert on any religion, including my own. I’m also aware that religion can be interpreted by each person a different way. But at the end of the day there are core principals to each religion that cannot be forgotten, and if your interpretation of the religion starts to wander away from those principals, I believe you can be told that you are wrong. I’ve been wanting to write/speak about this topic for a few years now, because I feel as though my religion as a whole is wandering off the path our founders had made for us, and in light of recent interactions with Sikhs in the community, I finally decided to speak my mind in hopes my thoughts will spark thoughts in others. At the Gurudawara (place of worship) I attend back home, an elder member made a statement that the youth are walking away from our faith- in a way she was right, but, aunty ji, let me tell you what’s really going on…

Sikhism, essentially (or so I have been taught at the Gurudawara), came about because our first Guru, Guru Nanak Dev Ji, born a Hindu, came to the conclusion that many rituals had come in the way of religion and were blinding the core values his religion embodied. He went on pilgrimages with both Hindus and Muslims, and asked them why certain rituals were performed, and then politely argued why the ritual was nonsense using the beliefs each religion encompassed. He then proceeded to branch off both religions and start a new one, Sikhism (literal meaning of Sikh= Student). Sikhs are known to be warriors, but they should also be known as students in the classroom of life. Each Guru after Guru Nanak Dev Ji helped build the religion through life events, taking in wisdom from their fellow Hindu and Muslim colleagues. And at the end of the 10 Guru era, we, the Sikhs of today, are left with a book, our 11th and eternal Guru, the Guru Granth Sahib, which brings to together thoughtful pieces of knowledge from Sikhs, Muslims, and Hindus.

Now after that VERY brief history lesson, lets get back to the topic of hair and why the youth seem to be “walking away”. In Sikhism we have the 5 Ks, which are supposed to be our uniform. Kesh (uncut hair), Karra (Steel bracelet), Kanga (a wooden comb), Kacha (cotton underwear), and Kirpan (a steel sword) are the 5 Ks, and I fully understand the significance behind each (go read up on it, too much to explain) and how they came about, and the sacrifices made to keep this uniform intact back in the day. At first, one of the reasons the uniform came about was so you could tell who was a Sikh from a Hindu and a Muslim. And it stuck due to many things that happened during the era of the lives of 10 different Gurus (so basically a lot happened) (Ugh, sorry for continuing the history lesson). Now lets fast forward to the 21st century in America, where if a person were caught with a steel sword dangling at their waist, they would be considered a threat. So many of the Sikhs out there who keep their hair uncut and/or wear a turban, don’t carry that sword. Many girls who keep their hair uncut but don’t wear the turban do not hide the little wooden comb in their hair (many turban wearing men don’t either). Many Sikh physicians with uncut hair don’t wear the steel bracelet all the time because it is not sanitary. Do you see where I’m getting at here? Not every Sikh with uncut hair abides by all 5 Ks. I can see how it is easier to keep your hair than carry a sword, but at the end of the day, how you look DOES NOT DETERMINE YOUR FAITH-  or your dedication towards your religion either (This is in fact a teaching from Guru Nanak Dev Ji himself), because religion is not a physical tangible thing, it’s a theory that lives in your mind not on your body. I cut my hair because it’s hard to maintain, I wasn’t blessed with silky beautiful hair, and I live in a world and am in a profession where my appearance matters. I know that being Sikh is not at all about what’s on the outside, but what’s on the inside. (And having more time not doing my hair, gives me more time to serve the community- a Sikh core value) I do wear a karra, which for me is the most practical way in today’s society to still wear the uniform of a Sikh, kind of like how a Christian may wear a Cross around their neck, but if I see a Sikh not wearing one, the thought that they aren’t a Sikh has never crossed my mind.  Uncut hair to me is now synonymous to a ritual that is blinding our religion from it’s core values (hmm remind you of something?).

Each Religion, along with Sikhism, have rules along side their beliefs. These rules are there for the beneficence of the followers. For example, something many people don’t know due to the punjabi stereotype, Sikhs are also supposed to refrain from alcohol and meat, why? Because of health reasons, it’s not good for your body. Which makes this rule understandable, but if someone does consume either or both, that still doesn’t mean they don’t embody the values of Sikhism. And nothing enrages me more than when I hear a turban wearing uncle I saw hitting up the bar at a wedding the past weekend, tell me at the Gurudawara I’m not Sikh because of my hair, and his obviously hung over son is. Like really, you can break a rule but I can’t? To put it in a little perspective for other religions- being told your cut hair makes you not a Sikh is like telling a Muslim girl she’s not Muslim because she doesn’t wear a hijab, or a Christian isn’t Christian because they don’t go to church every Sunday. We have other rules that are kind of like rituals as well, but are meant to show respect which is completely understandable- for example in the Sikh prayer hall you must cover your head, and your back should never face the front of the hall where the Guru Granth Sahib is. But even these well accepted rules have been taken way out of context and is part of the reason, in my opinion, Sikhism is falling apart in our society today.

Now that I’ve covered my beef with the hair situation, let’s move on to why the youth is walking away. I’ll start with the story that made me finally write this post- a few weeks ago my uncle passed away, and our family arranged a funeral and prayer processional in a matter of days. It’s customary in pretty much all cultures and religions to keep a picture of the deceased at the front of the ceremonies so you can remember them. My uncle cut his hair, and the picture his children chose to remember him with obviously did not have him wearing a turban. When they showed up to place the picture in the Gurudawara on day one of a three day prayer ceremony (Akhand Path) they were turned away because the PICTURE did not have their father’s head covered, and they had a problem all of the sudden with putting the picture in the front of the room because technically his back would be to Guru Granth Sahib- like come on its a picture for crying out loud! And it’s to honor someone who passed away, why are we getting into the nitty gritty of the rituals and being blinded from how our religion honors those who have left us? After a little bit of arguing our family was allowed to place a picture we found with him wearing a turban at the front of the prayer hall. Please tell me at this point you all are catching my drift and can see how ridiculous that was, and many other actions that elders in our community have taken that are not at all what Sikhism truly represents. Sikhism’s CORE VALUES are- be a good person, be hard working, share your wealth with your community, everyone is equal, be an honest and respectful person, avoid ego, avoid greed, avoid lust and anger, and bring peace- “Kirat Karni, Naam Japo, and Wand Kay Shako.” One of my favorite stories in Sikhism is where a Guru was asked to lunch by a poor man and a rich man – the poor man made it with his own hands and the rich man was greedy, and exploited labor to serve the Guru lunch. When the Guru squeezed the poor man’s roti (bread) milk came out, and when he squeezed the rich man’s roti blood came out. Moral of the story- be an honest and good person. It’s truly a very simple religion. We are supposed to be known as the most inviting religion, where we don’t force you to convert but we welcome you into our home to share our wisdom, in hopes you will share yours. In fact the Golden temple has four doors to enter, because Guru Arjun was aware that the other religions of the world use a specific direction for the layout of their houses of worship, so he had a door placed so that anyone could enter the Temple from the direction his religion dictated. Yet- recently some Sikh council in the UK decided that Sikhs can no longer marry non- Sikhs in a Gurudawara. Once again rituals blinding the religion itself. And this is why we are walking away. I’m still a Sikh, and I love my religion, but I only go to the Gurudawara every once in awhile to listen to Kirtan and meditate to clear my mind so I can get back to studying. I don’t listen to what the elders have to say anymore, because I feel like they are destroying the beautiful religion Sikhism is (and the politics at some of these Gurudawaras are almost as ridiculous as the GOP debates this year). Sikhs are the first to call out other religions for being too radical, but they forget to see what they are doing to their own faith.

Aamir Khan created an entire movie, PK, on how rituals are destroying and blinding religions. A movie everyone in this world should watch.

Guru Nanak Dev Ji created an entire religion, because he felt rituals were destroying and blinding other faiths. It’s sad to see that his followers are undoing all of his hard work. In a time where Sikh hate crimes are at a high, we should be progressing and informing others about the beauty of our religion, not regressing and losing followers.

That was my rant- now you’re probably asking, cool Jyoti, what’re going to do about it? Well I’m going to share this in hopes this makes some people realize what’s going on or realize they aren’t the only one with this thought. And then I’m going to keep Sikhism alive with my own kids- the right way. I don’t know if I will marry another Sikh, but I do know I’ll teach my kids to be a good person like Sikhism embodies, because faith isn’t just something you pray towards, its how you act on a day to day basis.

Let the hater’s hate on this, Chak De Phattey!

-J